Ninja Training

The birthday invitation says obstacles at ten, and the course is taped out across the lawn by half past nine. There are lanes in painter's tape, a folding table to crawl under, three pool noodles standing in for a wall, and a bucket of tennis balls nobody is allowed to throw until the second round. Guests arrive in black, mostly, and the ones who did not get the message are given a strip of ribbon to tie around an arm. Shoes go in a line by the back step.

The first run is a walkthrough. The second is timed, out loud, and that is when the arguing starts: whether a hand touching the grass counts, whether the table can be gone around. One adult holds the stopwatch and rules on it, and the ruling stands. Then everyone sits on the lawn in a row while a black ribbon is tied at each waist and the names are read one at a time, and the whole thing goes quiet for about four seconds before the cake comes out.